וירא כי לא יכל לו ויגע בכף ירכו ותקע כף ירך יעקב בהאבקו עמו ... (לב-כו)
Esav’s guardian angel accosted and assaulted Yaakov Avinu when he crossed the river and fought with him all through the night. Yaakov is no youngster - he is close to 100 years of age. Dawn had broken and the only way the angel can prevail is by aggressively kicking Yaakov in the thigh, to the point that he dislocated his hip. Yaakov is in a great deal of pain. Yet, he limps wearily towards his twin brother who is standing across the plain accompanied by 400 strongmen. Something changes in Esav and when they meet, Esav generously offers to accompany him to his home, but Yaakov refuses. Chazal tell us that the reason Yaakov declined Esav’s offer was because he knew that this reunion could only be short-lived and that soon enough, Esav would return to type. Yaakov wanted to conclude the meeting as soon as possible, rather than fight the inevitable evil that would emanate from Esav. Yaakov was a man whose every action would be reflected in the behavior of his decendents. At this critical moment in his and our history, despite his terrible pain and weariness, he knew which choice to make and how this would impact his progeny for years to come.
R’ Moshe Mordechai Biderman zt”l was the sixth-generation Rebbe of Lelov. He was born in Jerusalem around the turn of the 20th century and lived in Tel Aviv for many years, later moving to Bnei Brak, before passing away in 1987. He was well-known for his fervent avodas Hashem and many chassidim flocked to him. He was not only the Rebbe of Lelov; he was also accepted by many Karliner Chassidim as their new Rebbe after the passing of the previous Karlin-Stolin Rebbe, R’ Yochanan Perlow zt”l, in 1956. In the final years of his life, the Lelover Rebbe suffered a tremendous amount of pain. His doctors could not understand how he could bear it silently, without ever crying out. When asked, his explanation was quite simple. “If one keeps in mind that everything comes from Hashem and that everything which happens reflects His will, then one can learn to tolerate anything.” Another time, he told a group of chassidim, “I wholeheartedly believe that Mashiach will arrive at any moment and at that time, all pain in the world will disappear. Since I know that my suffering will last only a few seconds longer, it makes it easy for me to bear.”
In 1948, R’ Moshe Mordechai was invited to participate in a Pidyon Haben [Redemption of a First-Born Son] ceremony and festive meal in Jerusalem. The Rebbe left his home in Tel Aviv early in the afternoon, in order to arrive at the seudah on time. But the hour to begin the celebration came, and there was still no sign of the guest of honor.
The guests waited an hour, and then another hour. The Lelover Rebbe had still not arrived. Three hours passed before R’ Moshe Mordechai finally arrived, his face beaming with joy as he rushed inside to wish Mazel Tov to the father of the month-old baby boy. Nobody asked him why he had arrived so late, nor did he offer an explanation.
After the meal was over, the Rebbe remained a while longer, giving berachos and dispensing pearls of wisdom. Eventually, he slipped away quietly and instead of going straight home, he made his way to a nearby doctor’s office. He told the doctor that several hours earlier, while he was en-route to Jerusalem, the bus in which he was traveling was involved in an accident. The bus had rolled over and several passengers had fallen on the Rebbe, crushing him beneath them. There were many injuries. The doctor examined him and discovered that several of his ribs were cracked.
The doctor stared at the Rebbe in amazement. “Why didn’t the Rebbe come to me sooner?”
R’ Moshe Mordechai calmly explained that he was expected at a special seudah for a Pidyon Haben and he couldn’t get away until after the meal. The doctor looked at him incredulously. “How could you sit calmly through a meal, acting as though nothing was wrong? Broken ribs cause excruciating pain!” he exclaimed. “How could you bear it?”
The Rebbe simply shrugged. To R’ Moshe Mordechai there was no other way to behave. Unwilling to detract from another person’s joyous occasion, he had chosen to ignore the pain and suffer in silence. (Adapted from “Ascent of Safed” by R’ Y. Tilles)