שמלתך לא בלתה מעליך ורגלך לא בצקה ... כי כאשר ייסר איש את בנו ה' אלקיך מיסרך (ח-ד,ה)
The Torah vividly describes some of the many chasadim and acts of kindness that Hashem did for us in our forty-year sojourn in the midbar. Among other things, Hashem provided us with the mann daily, a domestic laundromat, and an in-home shoe store! We learned Torah from Moshe Rabbeinu and we were constantly guided by the Shechina - a cloud of glory by day and a pillar of fire at night. But immediately, the tone of the parsha changes and the posuk continues that Hashem punishes us as a father does at times to a child. How do we understand this juxtaposition which seems out of place here as well?
My machshava is as follows. The Torah is teaching us a vital lesson. When a person undergoes a calamity or any hardship, he tends to feel as if he is alone - no one is looking after him. He must realize that it’s the same Hashem who has so lovingly provided for him, endlessly showering an abundance of good upon him all his life; and yet, there are times when a person must receive a potch - a smack - to learn a lesson. Once a person realizes this, it will greatly dull and soften the blow!
As we reign in our children after a long summer and prepare them for the new school year, it’s important to remember that if at times we must mete out a potch, the child must recognize and understand full well in his or her heart, that you really love them. That the potch is coming only because they are loved. So before you do punish, if you are unsure that they have this realization - then don’t potch - it’s better to wait. This is why the Torah, the premiere “Mechanech” discusses the love first - and then the potch! Additionally, it is crucial to remember that before we are mechanech our children, we must check ourselves as well. As the Chofetz Chaim zt”l says in this week’s parsha, "ולמדתם אתם את בניכם" - we read it "אותם" (them), even though it is written "אתם" (you). This is to teach them - your children - that the first step is "אתם" - you! May הקב''ה grant us all the tremendous siyata d’shmaya needed in raising our children and may we see רוב נחת from them always and forever.
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