The Halachos of Praying for the Sick (8)
Last week we discussed the three places in Shemona Esrai where one can daven for the sick: 1) רפאנו 2) שמע קולנו and אלקי נצור (3. Let us elaborate on this theme.
Which Place in Shemona Esrai is Most Preferable? This is a complicated issue and we will try to present the pros and cons of each individual prayer. "רפאנו" has a preference since it’s a beracha designated for this topic (1). However, some Poskim hold that one should only add into "רפאנו" if it is for a family member or someone very close. For others, one should say it in "שמע קולנו" (2). This seems the correct way according to Mishna Berura (3) and was the custom of R’ S’ Z’ Auerbach ZT”L (4).
During or After Shemona Esrai? It would logically seem that the first 2 places are more appropriate because they are in the Shemona Esrai proper, while "אלקי נצור" is not in Shemona Esrai proper, and one can even answer during "אלקי נצור" things that cannot be said during Shemona Esrai proper. On the other hand, if one takes the time in Shemona Esrai proper he might lose the chance to answer Kedusha, etc. During Shemona Esrai proper, however, he can just stop and listen (hoping to hear and be יוצא) and during"אלקי נצור" he can actually answer, which is highly preferable. The Mishna Berura (5) holds that this second way is correct and if one might lose the ability to answer Kaddish or Kedusha verbally, he should add his requests at the end of Shemona Esrai in "אלקי נצור". (We already mentioned previously that at this point in the Shemona Esrai, he can be as long or short as he wants, however, in Shemona Esrai proper, one has to be short.)
The Exciting Life of Prayer and Thanks According to R’ Yonason Eibescutz. Since we are discussing the topic of adding prayers into Shemona Esrai it’s appropriate to mention the inspiring words of R’ Yonason Eibeschutz ZT”L (Yaros Dvash 1 (6)) He encourages a person to add into his Shemona Esrai, daily requests for all of his personal issues, and for those of his close ones and all of כלל ישראל, regarding matters both big and small. A person should daven for success in daily activities in detail, educating his children, health, shidduchim, parnassah, not to sin, learn Torah well, etc.
The Torah mitzvah of tefillah is to request from Hashem with heartfelt begging. Unfortunately, we might say other tefillos out of habit without thought and might not be fulfilling the mitzvah of tefillah. However, our own needs in our own words are said with concentration and feeling and can be used as a stepping stone to keep our concentration for the rest of davening. This ongoing connection to Hashem can be at any time of the day, not just three times a day during Shemona Esrai. At the end of the day, one can then find what to be thankful for daily and live a life of seeing Hashem’s goodness and guidance constantly.
(1) ר"ן ע"ז ח. (2) ע' או"ח קיט:א (3) קיט:ט (4) הלי' שלמה תפילה פ"ח הע' 06 (5) קכב-ח (6) מוזכר בחיי אדם כד:יט, ובמשנה ברורה קכב:ח